A Pee in the Night

A stirring, an awakening, a swelling,
turn over and up?
pit-pat - pit-pat - pit-pat -
stop and,
ohhh ahhh yessssssss?
a little jingle and
baby steps back to bed -

my mind - a glass bottom boat - glides over the unseen -
memories from deep emerge ?

a bright multicolored coral reef of joy
or
a dark dank ocean floor of despair
or
a shallow shoal of trivia
(and minnow-school like I swerve obedient back to sleep?)
or
a grotesque smiles and floats effortlessly out of view
or
a childhood incident kisses a lingering warmth

or
on occasion, if I am lucky,
a heavy unknown rhythm thunders to the core,
I free fall to the bottom
spelunk thru raw stalagmite
ache with the essential
my breath and chest on fire
until I remember?
numbers bubble up and gently extinguish the flames?

I am alive - I wish to live - I love my Self - I love my - I love - I? a return to the breath of sleep

until such a time as
the sun will crack me open yet again
and I will bob up to the surface to resume what I presume
is my swim to an inevitable and ultimate oblivion